Thursday, 22 January 2015
@Phil - Revised OGR - 22/01/2015
As the first OGR wasn't overly clear about the story/plot and it's characters, I have revised it to make it a little clearer. I want the story to be quite confusing and mysterious, which I think it is slightly, but I have done my best to include every thought/idea I have about the story and it's characters. I have tweaked a few things, but it's not too different to the original, in all honesty.
I don't think it's necessary to include my first like for like story board, and hopefully the second one will be done by tomorrow.
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okay so - the first scene is a fake remembered version of what actually happened - a son killing his whole family, but still I don't understand why we suddenly have another man (a detective's co-worker) being killed and chained to a wheelbarrow... and then we have the reveal of the real chain of events in scene three; it feels as is scene 2 only exists because you don't know what to do with the wheelbarrow...
ReplyDeleteDan - I think you need new story ideas on here, because this one just isn't working. I know you're attached to it, but please, let it go and try not to put your own 'favourite' sort of stories in the way of actually coming up with something that uses all of your objects more creatively...